Top Ten Ways to Get Over the Election

Yes, it’s true. The former host of The Celebrity Apprentice will be the 45th president of the United States. It’s time to get over it my friends, and these 10 things will help:

  1. Drink beer – I love beer. You love beer. Drink some beer. Then drink some more. Repeat.
  2. Watch Seth Meyers – first late night talk show that I watched post-election. Great self-deprecating intro. And his speech to the future first woman president made him cry. Not me though.
  3. Enjoy the stock market rally – the Dow Jones has hit a new high two days in a row! People in California, Maine, Massachusetts, and Nevada will soon be doing the same (see 10 below).
  4. Celebrate Veterans Day – a day that we honor all who served in the US armed forces. A day to be united as Americans. Merica!
  5. Go shopping – the craziness of the holiday shopping season is upon us. Forget about the election by buying stuff you don’t need! Yes, of course it’s worth camping outside Walmart overnight for the chance of broken limbs and saving $200 on a TV.
  6. Watch Jimmy Falloon – second late night talk show that I watched after the election. Jimmy was good, but the highlight of the show was Lily Collins. I can’t even.
  7. Hunt drones – I saw a video of people on dirt bikes chasing drones and catching them in nets. Seems like a great distraction. Suggest combining this “sport” with 1 and 10 on this list.
  8. Watch comedy – looking forward to watching Jon Oliver, Stephen Colbert, Bill Maher, etc. Similar to when George W was president, these guys will have an abundance of hilarious comedic material, for at least the next four years.
  9. Watch The Celebrity Apprentice – not the Donald Trump one, the new one with Arnie Schwarzenegger hosting Boy George, Vince Neil from Motley Crue, Snooki, a couple of comedians, a UFC fighter, Carnie Wilson from Wilson Phillips, two Real Housewives, two NFL running backs, and more. Sounds like a train wreck. I literally can’t even.
  10. Weed – I almost forgot this one. Over 20% of Americans will be able to legally smoke marijuana as a result of several states voting to legalize. And some will need it to get through the next four years.

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